Hey self-coachers,
Naval Ravikant once said:
"Desire is a contract that you make with yourself to be unhappy until you get what you want."
Stress works similarly. It’s your mind creating pressure because you believe you need something you don’t have—yet.
But what if you could break that cycle? What if you could coach yourself to manage stress and stay grounded, no matter what life throws at you?
That’s exactly what I’ll show you how to do today. You’ll learn how to coach yourself through stress, so you don’t get caught in the trap of always chasing relief.
Consider athletes.
All of them face pressure, whether it’s on the field, in the gym, or in competition. But it’s not just their physical training that gets them through it—it’s their mental toughness, their ability to stay calm and focused under fire.
Self-coaching is the tool they use to build this resilience.
Today, I’ll teach you how to create a simple self-coaching plan in 3 steps:
- Identify the Sources of Your Stress
- Develop Coping Strategies That Work for You
- Set Clear Goals for Mindset Management
After reading this, you’ll have clarity on how to coach yourself through life’s challenges and keep your mind as sharp as your body.
Let's Face It
You’re reading this because you want to feel in control. You want to handle stress better. And you know there’s a gap between where you are now and where you want to be, mentally.
I’m here to help bridge that gap.
Self-coaching isn’t a magic solution. You’ll still have to do the inner work. But the steps I’m about to outline will help you get a handle on stress faster than just "hoping things get better."
I built my self-coaching account after struggling for years. By following the same strategies I’m about to share with you, I’ve helped a lot of people reduce stress, improve mental clarity, and regain their sense of purpose.
But now, back to your self-coaching plan…
I carve out time every month to reflect and refine my self-coaching strategies.
I’ll spend an afternoon in the quiet of a park with nothing but a journal, focusing on how I can improve my mindset, reduce stress, and grow stronger mentally.
It’s a process, but it’s the foundation of how I stay grounded in life. And today, I’ll share that process with you.
Here’s my 3-step method to self-coach your way to better stress management:
Step 1: Identify the Sources of Your Stress
There are only two core sources of stress in life:
- External stressors (things happening around you)
- Internal stressors (your own thoughts, expectations, and reactions)
Most people get these two confused.
They think their stress comes from outside: the job, the deadlines, the relationships. In reality, a huge portion of stress comes from how we interpret these events—our internal dialogue.
That’s why I always start by separating the two.
Here’s a quick exercise for you:
- List out your current stressors. Write down everything you’re worried about or feeling pressure from. Don’t filter; just get it all on paper.
- Now, look at each item. Ask yourself: Is this an external stressor or an internal stressor?
Once you understand where your stress is coming from, you can begin to tackle it with the right tools
Step 2: Develop Coping Strategies That Work for You
Stress management isn’t one-size-fits-all.
What works for one person might not work for you. The key to effective self-coaching is developing coping strategies that fit your personality and lifestyle.
Here are a few of my go-to methods for stress relief:
- Mindfulness meditation: A 10-minute daily practice of focusing on your breath or a simple mantra can help you become aware of your stress triggers and detach from them.
- Exercise: Movement releases endorphins, which naturally reduce stress. Find an activity you enjoy—walking, yoga, weightlifting, anything that gets you moving.
- Journaling: Writing down your thoughts is a powerful way to release mental pressure. Try "freewriting" for 5 minutes each day—just put pen to paper and let your thoughts flow without judgment.
- Progressive muscle relaxation: Tensing and releasing muscle groups can help you physically release stress held in your body.
Self-coaching means testing these strategies and figuring out which ones actually help you feel calmer and more in control.
Write down 2–3 methods you want to try and commit to practicing them daily for a week. Notice how your mind and body respond.
Step 3: Set Clear Goals for Mindset Management
Stress doesn’t just go away because you want it to. You need to actively work on your mindset. Just like physical fitness, mental fitness requires a plan and consistent action.
Here’s how I set goals for managing my mindset:
- Define what success looks like for you. For example: "I want to feel more calm and in control when I face unexpected challenges."
- Set measurable milestones. Maybe it’s reducing the number of stress-induced sleepless nights, or feeling less overwhelmed during the workday. Be specific about what you want to achieve.
- Break down your goals into daily practices. If your goal is to feel more grounded, your daily practices might include 10 minutes of meditation, 5 minutes of journaling, and a walk after work.
- Track your progress. Self-coaching requires accountability. Create a simple tracking system where you mark off whether you completed your stress-management practices for the day.
I use a journal to log my mindset goals and reflect on my progress every week.
The Effortless Way to Coach Yourself Through Stress
Don’t overcomplicate it. The best self-coaching plans are incredibly simple. The challenge lies in keeping it that way.
You need systems to make managing stress second nature.
Systems for:
- Identifying stress triggers before they overwhelm you
- Using simple techniques to calm your mind in the moment
- Building resilience so you can handle pressure long-term
You could spend years figuring out your own system, or you could use the proven strategies I’ve just outlined. But whatever path you take, remember this:
Stress management is an ongoing process. You won’t get it perfect right away. But with a simple plan and consistent action, you’ll find yourself feeling more grounded, more often.
Take the first step today toward becoming your own best coach!
Let’s win the inner game together.
Best,
FEDON
Want to dive deeper into self-coaching?
P.S.
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Have questions about self-coaching or need personalized advice? Reply to this email, and I’ll be happy to help you out!
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